Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
