these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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