The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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