just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
