Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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