drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
