We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We have started to decorate penises.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Come on in and take your pants off
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