I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
