I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So much Jack, so little girl.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize