Christians are straight up FREAKS
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
