he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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