so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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