He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
