I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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