You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
this hospital has no fireball
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Your penis caused this!
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