Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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