Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Randomize
