walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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