I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
