i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
