Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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