my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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