was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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