All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
