He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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