and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
