The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
