real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
