So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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