dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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