Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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