It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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