quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
