Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
