we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
