Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
