im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
