In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
