I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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