so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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