1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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