You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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