Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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