Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
