oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
