What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
