He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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