May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
