if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Boobs speak an international language.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
