my phone needs a breathalizer
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Randomize
