I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
