i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
