maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize