Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
