I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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