oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
