his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
