I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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