are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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