Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
