actually, I'm a sock model
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
