I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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