He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
